Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Boys and Girls

Boys are dreadful. They are messy and loud, and often smell bad...yet they can never seem to detect this with their own noses. Their rooms are atrocious. No matter how hard you work to give them a "place for everything", everything ends up on the floor. No matter how many times you throw open the curtains and open the window, they will close it all back up and enjoy their stinky little cave. You must remind them to shower, not leave their dirty clothes squirreled under the covers of their beds, comb their hair, wear socks.

Boys are wonderful. They are marvelously entertaining, especially when they do song and dance routines, swinging their dirty underwear in graceful circles, on the way to the laundry basket. They are comfortably companionable. They will chat if you like, or sit quietly doing their own thing for hours. You can forget they exist for awhile. They are emotionally uncomplicated...even the high strung ones.

Girls are horrid. They are intent upon making you realize that THEY ARE THERE, and in addition they want you to know what kind of mood they are in while being THERE. You can never, ever forget they exist. Even if they are in another room with the door closed, even if they are asleep, you are always aware of their simmering presence. They are in general, potentially as smelly as any boy, but mercifully they begin to obsess about what others think, right around the time they become most ripe. Then they disdainfully look down their noses at their smelly brothers, and smelly boy rooms.

Girls are great. They might be moody, and irritable...but they understand when Mom is too. They understand the nuances of life, when boys just stand there saying, "What?!" They grow up and become friends who understand you, who worry about you, who pamper and indulge you now and then. They never patronize you, because of course they are still a little afraid of you. They do favors for you that no one else will do...partly because they love you, and partly because they are still a little afraid of you.

So the conclusion of the whole matter is this. A few of each is nice. I would even consider collecting more of these people over time...children, grandchildren. But as far as men go, well that's another post altogether. I hope the one I have lasts a good long time, because I don't ever want another one of them. If ever I found myself single, I would just begin collecting cats.


leisa said...

You have given me a glimpse of my future. Hope we can share notes in person one day. I have tagged you, visit my blog to have a look.

E said...

I was never moody

p.s. shut up

p.s. go away

p.s. I think my tanline might be visible from space

p.s. Maybe that's why I'm hailing the Vulcans

ann-tastic said...

I am not moody either and resent the insinuation...I am merely multi-faceted and my colors are varied throughout any given day in a lunar cycle!!!HA!HA Men are so.....uh....the same!!

Betty Jo Byz said...

....we have 10 cats. My mother and father are here for a visit....Cats are great, maybe we will get more....did I tell you we have 10 cats???....How about the fact that my folks are here for a visit.....more cats...definitely more cats...........

Mongoose said...

I haven't tried the boys and girls, but I totally agree on the men. I'm into free-range men: I like to watch them in their natural habitat, but I don't want them in the house anymore.

Cloudscome said...

I love this post.