It seems that everything is a control battle. Everything. One of our dear daughters (the one with the star on her head) has been giving us grief about her satin head wrap at night. This is a necessary item to preserve complex hair styles and keep their hair from breaking and drying out. So all four get one tied on before bed every night. Mom or Dad ties it, because inevitably the children tie them too tight (and they rip) or too loose (and they fall off). Except for one daughter, this is no problem. This one daughter persists in untying and retying every night, resulting in an excuse to get up in crisis because "my head wrap tore". Night after night we find ourselves repairing and retying the darned thing.
Tonight I just decided to let her make her own poor choice and live with it. It is particularly easy to mete out fair and logical consequences as two other sisters got their hair washed and braided today. I just told her calmly that she could sleep without a head wrap, since she clearly did not want hers as she kept ruining it. But that she would not be receiving any more hair care than her sisters...as in extra hair product for what will be a very dry head, or another several hours of my time to braid and rebraid her hair, which will look ratty in about a day. This will be a grueling consequence as this child covets the time I spend on anyone else's hair, in a jealous and almost pathological way. To have to live with a dry, messy head while her sisters have well groomed ones will be a horrible cross to bear.
So now she is wailing and keeping everyone up. But her "twin" brother is doing the same at the other end of the house, because he was sent to bed early for mouthing off at Dad.
Tonight I just decided to let her make her own poor choice and live with it. It is particularly easy to mete out fair and logical consequences as two other sisters got their hair washed and braided today. I just told her calmly that she could sleep without a head wrap, since she clearly did not want hers as she kept ruining it. But that she would not be receiving any more hair care than her sisters...as in extra hair product for what will be a very dry head, or another several hours of my time to braid and rebraid her hair, which will look ratty in about a day. This will be a grueling consequence as this child covets the time I spend on anyone else's hair, in a jealous and almost pathological way. To have to live with a dry, messy head while her sisters have well groomed ones will be a horrible cross to bear.
So now she is wailing and keeping everyone up. But her "twin" brother is doing the same at the other end of the house, because he was sent to bed early for mouthing off at Dad.
1 comment:
Maybe instead of providing the expensive wraps that they get a "control thrill" from ripping up, you could just use panty hose. That's what alot of African Americans use anyway. And btw, I don't know if anyone told you the slang for the wraps but they're called "do-rags" by alot of people. Hope this helps! Good luck with the newbies. I'll be praying for you:)
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