Well the hair wars seem to be over to some degree. Thanks for all of your kind and helpful comments. I would like to note that no one here has an EXPENSIVE hair wrap, so the destruction of "do-rags" is not a financial issue. Thank goodness. Actually we have found cheapies from Walmart that work great. They last for about six weeks, at which time they start getting a bit raggedy and need replacement...so think disposable. Our younger two daughters have NEVER had a hair incident. We tie them on at bedtime, and take them off in the morning. Their hair styles last at least twice as long as their older sisters' styles do. They have never had a rip, broken string, or a "slip off" during the night. The older two on the other hand... oh me, oh my! Because this is how it goes. We tie them on and send them to bed, reminding them that they need to leave the darned things alone. Period. Anything else is disobedience. But they go in their room, and in the privacy of their beds they untie, and retie, and untie, and retie. Then the strings get knotted or broken, which gives them an excuse to get up and bug us two hours after they were sent to bed.
Here are the new rules. Why didn't I do this sooner? I will go to Walmart and buy everyone a new sleep cap. I will mark each one clearly. Each girl can do whatever she likes with it. She can let Mom tie it on at bedtime and leave it alone. She can tie and retie it twenty-five times a night in her bed. She can fill it up with stuffed animals and call it a nest (yes, this has been done). BUT, if you mess it up you can figure out how to fix it yourself, or do without until Mom passes out the next round of new ones. Hair products and styles will be dispensed the same way. In other words...if you don't take care of your hair and it gets dry and messy, this is not Mom's problem. Mom has provided the opportunity to have beautiful hair...expensive hair products, fun hair toys, do-rags to sleep in, and hours and hours of time spent braiding and twisting. The thing is, this is ALL at Mom's expense...both financially and time wise. So until these four little girls take over both the expense and responsibility for their own hair care (and I pray they will, sooner or later!), they may have to learn some hard lessons about how their inability to obey, or their need to control ends up costing them a bit in the long run.
We had a discussion today about one tip I received about using ladies stockings. They agreed that they had done this on occasion in past foster homes. Then they recalled how one foster Mom used to put a pair of panties on their head to keep their hair nice. This brought lots of laughter, and an agreement that the sleep caps were "way nicer than underwear"! Both older daughters have assured us that if only we will give them new caps they will show us how well they can take care of their hair. "Give us a chance to prove ourselves!" So a trip to Walmart is in order, and they will be off and running, trying to prove to Mom that they too can keep their hair and their do-rag nice. Everything's a competition! Sometimes it works to our advantage!
Here are the new rules. Why didn't I do this sooner? I will go to Walmart and buy everyone a new sleep cap. I will mark each one clearly. Each girl can do whatever she likes with it. She can let Mom tie it on at bedtime and leave it alone. She can tie and retie it twenty-five times a night in her bed. She can fill it up with stuffed animals and call it a nest (yes, this has been done). BUT, if you mess it up you can figure out how to fix it yourself, or do without until Mom passes out the next round of new ones. Hair products and styles will be dispensed the same way. In other words...if you don't take care of your hair and it gets dry and messy, this is not Mom's problem. Mom has provided the opportunity to have beautiful hair...expensive hair products, fun hair toys, do-rags to sleep in, and hours and hours of time spent braiding and twisting. The thing is, this is ALL at Mom's expense...both financially and time wise. So until these four little girls take over both the expense and responsibility for their own hair care (and I pray they will, sooner or later!), they may have to learn some hard lessons about how their inability to obey, or their need to control ends up costing them a bit in the long run.
We had a discussion today about one tip I received about using ladies stockings. They agreed that they had done this on occasion in past foster homes. Then they recalled how one foster Mom used to put a pair of panties on their head to keep their hair nice. This brought lots of laughter, and an agreement that the sleep caps were "way nicer than underwear"! Both older daughters have assured us that if only we will give them new caps they will show us how well they can take care of their hair. "Give us a chance to prove ourselves!" So a trip to Walmart is in order, and they will be off and running, trying to prove to Mom that they too can keep their hair and their do-rag nice. Everything's a competition! Sometimes it works to our advantage!
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